after a long while, we had the chance to talk and see each other again.

i smiled at him and so did he.

"so, what's going on with your committed life?" i asked.

"we're FINE," he answered.

there's a tone of declaration and truthfulness in his voice. somehow, it made me feel sad. but i also heard a hymn of loneliness on the way he stressed out those words. i wondered and it made me quiet. we're both very still and silent. it's deafening. and for me its already killing inside.

breaking the silence, he asked, "are you alright?"

i stared at him and then i nodded. looking away i nodded again staring blankly at nothingness.

then the words came instantly from him and started to say,

"i've BEEN missing you."

the word 'BEEN' hit me. it's like somebody had slapped me in the face.

"i miss your voice. i miss your face. the expressions only your face could make," he paused, cracking up a hurtful smile.

then, he continued, "i miss the touch of your hand. i miss how gentle we put our hands together. i miss how loose your grip was and how i tighten mine so that i won't lose you."

i explained to my self, 'my grip was loose beacuse i know you already belonged to someone and holding it tight will make it very difficult for me to let go.'