Sunday, May 31, 2009
ooops!
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aloha! i'm back!
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they say you'll only realize a person's worth until they're gone.
>guess that's true!
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many things had caught up on me this week. yes! its caught up. well, my past caught me up this weekend.
regret seems to be a part of what i'm feeling now.
may be it's too late. or may be not.
everyone deserves a second chance. and i think i am not an exemption to that "everyone". may be i deserve a chance. but will he give me that chance?
>drama lang. lolz!
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hmmmp! arrrgh! .sigh.
my weekend is both at its best and at its worst. it's really very hard to mix friendship with another kind of love. most especially if he is inlove with my "used-to-be-bestfriend". and what's best and at the same time worst? it's when my "used-to-be-bestfriend" shows signs of uncontrollable insecurity. insecurity is the best thing but her way of showing that "she-is-so-not-insecure-of-me" gets into the core of my nerves.
>haha. feeler lang bitaw q ui.
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p.s.
>mwah!
k Y u t i E
|7:22:00 PM|
Saturday, May 30, 2009
real girl
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sound trip
If I had one chance to in my life again
I wouldn't make no changes now or way back when
And if everything turns out the way I hope it goes
But I cant wait to find out what it is that God knows
But I don't wanna think about what's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day 'cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be
I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am
And nothing's ever perfect there's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers it would put my mind at ease
So I'll just keep on going the way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up tryin' to catch a fallin star
But I don't wanna think about what's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day 'cause it's the only way
To be the best that I can be
I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am
Baby this is who I am
Don't need you to understand
'Cause everything is right where it should be
It wont be long til you know about me,
'Cause I don't give a...
Even when I'm out of love
'Cause everythings just how it should be
And it wont be long till you know about me
I never pretend to be something I'm not
You get what you see, when you see what I've got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am
k Y u t i E
|7:50:00 PM|
Friday, May 22, 2009
a song
we often fool ourselves and say that its love because when its gone we end up being lonely.
so how are we to know that its just isn't so.
and that we just have to let each other go.
there were many times when we shared precious moments but later on we realize they were only stolen moments.
if loving you is all that means to me and being happy is all i hope you'd be,
then loving you must mean i really have to set you free.
each day we meet my love for you keeps growing but at the same time it makes leaving you so much harder.
letting go is not an easy task.
when smiling feels like wearing this lonely mask.
it hurts deep inside and i just can't hide.
k Y u t i E
|8:38:00 PM|
Monday, May 11, 2009
true or false
mana nah amu exam sa midterm. yehey! nagcheck me ganina sa amu papers. huhu. naluoy q sa amu usa kah klasmate ke xa ang g'blame sah uban tungod ke wa da nya g'discuss tong u sa mga gpang'enumerate ni sir sa test 2. and then naa mi usa kah number nga gilalisan whether true or false. mangau pud q comment whether true or false bah.
Earning profit is ONLY one of the goals of business.
dugay jud mi naglalis bout ana. ngau q ug comment bout ana.
k Y u t i E
|2:33:00 PM|
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
better
whew! another exhausting day had ended. it's the birthday of my sister pala today. apee bday soy. apee bday pud pamz. well, anyway, finish nah jud aq exam sah calculus ug stat. i'm worried with my exam in statistics. i've lost 20 points in the first problem because of the interval width thing. grrrrr! hope i'll still pass the exam. im just so worried. im done reporting kanina. pnahirapan aq ni sir jil. tapos nakita q ung babaeng ayaw q makita. =/
enough for the worst.
and the best thing today? i think we're getting better nah ulit kahit d pah maxado.
well, lights off nah kami. nitee. mwah.
k Y u t i E
|10:28:00 PM|
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
late!
i got up late in the morning. i rushed to school forgetting why i'd slept so late. after my first class was done i remembered the reason for such thing. i was so occupied by a friend. we talked about the least person i thought of as our topic. that was great, i almost told him everything. everything except for the name of the person. i think my friend already knew who i was referring to the whole time. of course he knew him. he always do.
k Y u t i E
|2:35:00 PM|
Sunday, May 3, 2009
i'm done
i'm done with my report. am so exhausted. i've done many things today. i went to the church together with my family. my younger sister had received the sacrament of confirmation today. i saw an old friend whom i've been missing so much. i went with my mother to buy something for lunch. then we watched pacman's two-round match with mr. hitman. after which we watched a horror movie and ate our lunch. then after the washing of dishes were done. i went reading and soon enough after two hours i realized i have closed my eyes and wondered to sleep. then a friend came over and the worst thing that had happened this day followed. i felt sad and in pain. i resorted to my friends but none of them seem to gave me an idea of what to do exactly. i am battling over my mind and my feelings. and then i realized it was really over. i continued working with my report. of course, still bothered with the ended bond with him. i can't concentrate much on what i was doing. from time to time i have to glance over my mobile phone hoping i'd get a text from him. i ate my supper. still feeling stiff and dull. i continued doing my reasearch for the report and later i felt nauseous. my head ached because of too much computer thing. i can barely stand more than an hour infront of the computer. my eyes will be complaining and if not listened to headache will follow. but i didn't mind. i continued until i really can't take it anymore.
k Y u t i E
|10:22:00 PM|
sala naq
wala q kasabot sa aq na'feel. i'l admit, dugay na jud q ga'huna huna nah bulagan nah xa pro mahadlok q masakitan xa. so, i just keep on doing my thing. nkadugay mi, ngkalayo q nya. mao nah amu pirme awayan. pirme q wala'y tym sa iya. dghan nah kau q ug sala nya. maybe i deserved this. well maybe "deserve" is not the right word to use. i do not deserve this because its what i want to happen ever since he's been so protective. he just changed man gud. mas agresibo, over-protective, seryoso nah kaau. that made our relationship boring. that pushed me away from him. wala'y adlaw nah dli q masuq niya. i seldom think of ending our relationship. and by saying seldom i actually mean everyday except the day he cried. that stopped me. because of that incident, i always consider his feelings. na'realize naq i've never stood up for him. kung xa pa'storyahon, para naq balewala ra daw tnan iyang gpangbuhat para naq. well, part of it is true though. nakonxenxa pud bya q. wa jud qy nabuhat para nya. atleast man lang mka one fourth q sa iyang effort. wala jud. dghan au q ug excuses everytime nahan xa magkita me. cguro nakonxenxa lang q that's y im hurt. hay ambot. wa pud jud q kblo unsa. wa jud q idea. dghan man pud malipay sa nahitabo. first and foremost is iyang former girlfriend and second is his sister.
k Y u t i E
|5:38:00 PM|
it's over
i can't seem to find my self..
i can feel the pain inside me..
slowly creeping and making a hole in my chest..
i've been waiting for this day to come..
to be free again..
to be free from him..
but i never imagined this kind of pain..
i thought it will be just fine..
maybe its just a normal reaction..
a normal feeling..
maybe i'll just get over it..
i've done it before..
i can do it twice..
i think it's far better that he chose to let go of me first..
because i think he would feel less of the pain
if ever it'll be me who'll end it..
i think i can handle it much better
than him, if he's in my situation right now..
i just wondered, why i am feeling so bad..
so bad that i wanted to explode..
so bad that i wanted to cry..
to cry out loud..
but i know i can't
because i know this is all my fault..
i have to admit, i want it to end..
but the pain would not subside..
k Y u t i E
|5:22:00 PM|
